You
may wonder why this isn’t a story about alpine adventures or the artist’s
journey, my normal go-to topics. Sometimes a memory vibrates and resonates with
recent news. And, we don’t get to choose. It just happens. However, we do get
to choose whether we share the story or just keep quiet. This seems like one to
share. A story of hope. One of a new dawn.
E.
Jean Carroll’s lawsuit against the one who will not be named had been on my
radar for months. Finally, a brave woman would take him to task for his serial sexually
abusive behavior. I rejoiced when the trial began and followed news of the
daily testimony. As the trial proceeded, I wondered what it was like for the
jury. What did they notice when E. Jean Carroll responded to questions both direct and cross? How did the jury react to pugilistic Joe Tacopina, the defense
lawyer, as he brutally cross-examined Ms. Carroll? What did they feel for her? How
did they evaluate her testimony? And, more to the point, what would it be like
for me if I was a member of that jury? I wondered because I had once served as
a Superior Court Juror in a case with a striking similarity, the charge of
sexual abuse.
While
E. Jean Carroll’s trial was a civil case, ours was a criminal case. The New
York case had nine jurors while our Washington case had twelve, plus one
alternate. The burden of proof in the civil case was lower, with guilt based on “the
preponderance of evidence,” whereas the burden of proof in the criminal case was
“beyond a reasonable doubt.” While a unanimous jury is required to convict in a
criminal trial, the nine-person jury might only need 7 of 9 to convict in a
civil trial. The bar was much higher for our criminal case.
I received my jury summons in early December 2015, a postcard ordering my presence at the King County Superior Court in the Malang Regional Justice Center in Kent, Washington. Driving south on a rainy gray day, I pondered my journey into the unexpected. I wondered if I would be selected to serve. A juror’s card, with a bar code and ID number, accompanied me, my validation for entry. I parked and approached the imposing courthouse, the front of which was dominated by a multi-story rotunda, the colonnaded public entrance, whose architectural grandeur no doubt signified justice. But I entered through an institutional metal service door at the back of the building, the juror’s entrance. No architectural grandeur whatsoever. An armed guard examined my card and waved me through the security equipment. I followed large yellow arrows taped on the floor, and then on the walls, making my way through a maze of gray hallways to Room 2E.
I
took a seat in the crowded room and pulled a thick history book from my
satchel. I expected a long day. Intermittent, seemingly random numbers appeared
on a video screen at the front. My number finally appeared, along with a group
assignment to an unnamed case. Eventually, a moderator stood and asked whether anyone
had a legitimate reason to be excused. If not, you stayed. Most of us wanted to
be excused. Some were. Dismissals ranged from child-rearing responsibilities to ejection
for inappropriate outbursts. Without excuse, I continued to the subsequent
round, now assigned to a group and a case, destined to return the next day.
We
entered the spare dark wood-paneled courtroom and sat first in the spectator
area as another smaller group was ushered into the jury box for questioning. I
quickly lost interest and opened my book. I continued reading as both the prosecution
and defense queried prospective jurors, and either dismissed or selected persons
from the groups ahead of us. Then it was our turn. Now, one of thirteen in the
jury box, I wondered what questions I would face and if my dismissal was a
possibility. I hoped so.
Until
this moment I had only seen the defendant from behind. I could see him clearly
now as he faced me. Clothed in an orange county jail jumpsuit, with his long and
disheveled hair he looked gaunt and hard and suspicious. He asked me a
question. Stunned, I now realized that he had elected to represent himself. He
would be both defendant and attorney for the defense. I recalled the old law
adage that a man who chooses to represent himself has a fool for a client. I
wondered if that would be born out. We would see.
After
several rounds of questions from both prosecution and the defense, a few of us
remained. The judge now queried the smaller group, if any of us had concerns
whether we could serve without bias. I raised my hand. The judge motioned for
me to stand. I explained that the defendant bore a strong resemblance to Ted
Kaczynski, the Unabomber, with his crazy hair. I questioned whether that might
predispose an assumption of guilt for me due to my perception of him. Surprisingly,
my statement was not enough to deter anyone, even the defense. I was selected.
Of course, the defendant evaluated my comment about his appearance. At the trial,
he was physically transformed. His hair now neatly trimmed, and wearing a grey
suit, he pretended to be an attorney.
We
did not know the nature of the case until we were seated in the jury box on day
one. I had wondered if it would be robbery or murder. It was not. It concerned
the repeated sexual abuse of a young girl. The crime was despicable. And, once
our jury duty was over, I wanted to never think of it again. But now, over seven
years later, after many high-profile adult sexual assault cases, and the recent
E. Jean Carroll trial have the memories of my jury trial experience returned to
be examined once again.
Although
the genre of the crime was the same, there were several differences. E. Jean
Carroll was an adult woman at the time she was assaulted and, although it was a
violent encounter, it was a one-time event, something she kept to herself for
decades until she reached her personal tipping point. And, once resolved to
act, she bravely came forward to face her perpetrator some 30 years later. The
victim in the Washington case was a young high school girl who had been
sexually abused multiple times as a young teen, over a span of a few years and
now facing her abuser only two years later as a high school senior. And, the
perpetrator was her father.
During
E. Jean Carroll’s trial, two other women testified of their experiences of
sexual abuse at the hands of the miscreant. The one other witness who testified
of sexual abuse in the Washington trial was the victim’s older step-sister,
again victimized as a minor, by her father. I found myself repulsed by the
heinous and repeated acts.
Carroll’s
trial included seven key witnesses: two close friends, her younger sister, two
other women who had been assaulted by the perpetrator, and two expert
witnesses. A small group, all adult professional people. By contrast, the
state, representing the young woman in the Washington trial included a broader
spectrum, the victim’s younger brother, her best girlfriend, her older
step-sister, her mother, her stepmother, her stepfather, a school teacher, a
school guidance counselor, a policeman, a detective, and her best friend’s
mother. They came from more everyday walks of life than those in the New York
trial. Another key difference was that several of the Washington witnesses were
young teens. The prosecution had to proceed deliberately but with extra care.
It was emotionally difficult for the witnesses to revisit and recall their
memories, and the details of the case. There was an emotional impact on the jury as
well. How did we manage to feel the pain that the perpetrator had presumably
caused while tasked with staying objective? I found it difficult.
E.
Jean Carroll was represented by a renowned litigator, Roberta Kaplan, along
with the best legal team that money could buy. The wealthy LinkedIn founder Reid
Hastings provided the financial means. Kaplan’s team was tightly organized, on
point, and efficiently prosecuted their case. They did not waste time. They
made the defense lawyer, Joe Tacopina, look like a bumbler. Their prosecution
was regarded as a masterpiece.
While
the Washington prosecutor was buttoned up, concise, and professional, she was
court-appointed and had one clerk, a small team. Unlike the New York defendant,
who employed a highly paid team of lawyers, the defendant in the Washington
case had the arrogance to choose to represent himself. He would prove himself
to be incompetent and, in the process, drag everyone through what seemed an
interminable undertaking. Playing at being his own attorney, he was rambling,
vague, and repetitious. As I tried to remain without bias and understand the
purpose of his questions to the witnesses it became clear that some of them
made no sense. It was often difficult to discern exactly where he was going
during his cross of the witnesses.
He
often badgered witnesses with repeated versions of the same question. When he
did this to his daughter it felt to me like continued abuse, psychological
abuse. His behavior throughout the trial was challenging for both those on the
stand and the judge, who often had to intervene. The defendant, while performing
as an attorney, revealed himself to be a narcissistic time waster who wore me,
and everyone else, out. Consequently, the trial took three weeks before the prosecution and defense finished. It could have been completed in half that time
and because of that, I felt the defendant had abused us all.
Soon
after jury selection and before the trial began, we received instructions from
the court. They included the admonition not to discuss the case with anyone
outside the case and not even among ourselves until the prosecution and defense
had rested and we retired to deliberate. Although we spent time in recess
together and sometimes shared lunches over many days, I doubt there was any
substantive discussion of the case. We were a mixed group of men and women from
many trades and professions. I was easily the oldest.
We were
each issued a notebook, a black 3-ring binder full of blank pages. It was ours
to take into the jury box to take notes if we wished. We returned them to the
court at the day's end and received them again at the beginning of every new
day. I took copious notes. I wanted to be able to follow what seemed to be a
potentially long and rambling evidentiary thread with key reveals at
unanticipated points in the testimony. Several other jurors also took notes
while others merely listened. That surprised me. How could they remember it
all? So, one day, in the jury chambers, I asked one of the court clerks if the
transcripts of the trial would be made available to the jury during
deliberations. The answer was no. Suddenly, more of my fellow jurors began taking
notes.
I wrote well over thirty pages and I was glad that I did. It served at least
two purposes. It helped me stay more emotionally grounded while sifting through
the testimony. Unlike a murder trial which might rely on a recovered body,
weapon, fingerprints, or trace evidence such as DNA, there was no physical
evidence. There was only testimony, verbal recollections of memories, and
impressions of events past. Our task was to make sense of it as best we could,
by examining the witness statements for consistency, continuity, and veracity. We
had to discover the threads that would tie the narratives together and provide
us with the information necessary to confidently evaluate and determine guilt,
or not. My notes helped provide the information, the pieces of the puzzle, that
would build that evaluation structure.
As
the days passed each witness added more pieces to the puzzle. I found the
process and testimony all-consuming as I analyzed both the approach taken by
both the prosecutor and defender and the content that slowly revealed itself
through the voices of the various witnesses. I found myself looking forward to each
new person, their answers and recollections of events, their experiences, and their insights. As I took notes, I tried to achieve clarity. It wasn’t always easy
but near the end, I felt the pieces fitting together. I became ever more
confident that I could make sense of the events and see the truth. And though we
did not share our thoughts on the case I felt that the same was happening for
others.
Once
both sides rested it was our turn. Time for deliberations. The alternate juror
was revealed and released. Though I hoped it would be me, it was someone else,
someone that I knew, from our lunchtime interactions, who would make the final process
much more difficult, perhaps impossible.
That
troublesome insight occurred during our first recess on day one. One juror
brashly announced to the rest of us that, in his opinion, the defendant was
innocent, and that he was being railroaded and framed by the women. I was shocked,
appalled, and annoyed. I did not know what the others thought as we were too
new to each other and we were not supposed to openly discuss the testimony, or any
insights or opinions until deliberations. And now, this juror had already made
up his mind in the first hours of the trial and made a smug public
announcement, as if to influence the rest of us. I noted his statement, thought
him an idiotic misogynist, and considered how we might examine the evidence to
determine the truth, despite his bias. If he maintained his pre-determined
position while the rest of the jurors used the evidence to arrive at a guilty verdict,
we would have a hung jury and a mistrial. That thought hung over me for the
duration of the trial, like the precarious sword of Damocles. Fortunately, he
was later identified as the alternate juror and was subsequently released. I
was not sorry to see him go.
We
needed to select a foreman to lead the process. A brash younger guy, who worked
in sporting goods sales, volunteered and actively lobbied for the role. I was
not impressed. In fact, I was taken aback. While the young man was gregarious,
sometimes boisterous, and an occasionally interesting lunchtime companion, I
had no confidence in his ability to lead the jury. At first, I waited. When no
one else expressed any interest, I finally raised my hand. I thought my
experience in managing business teams was more suitable. Fortunately, I received a
majority of the votes and became the jury foreman.
The
first task was to determine how to proceed. We received no instruction from the
court on how to arrive at a verdict. We were on our own. With four criminal counts
to consider we’d have to pare down and focus. We would tackle them one at a
time. We needed a process with structure, one that would allow every juror’s voice
to be heard without the group devolving into a chaotic debate with everyone
talking at once. Without a structured process, we’d struggle mightily to arrive
at a well-reasoned verdict.
I
stepped up to the whiteboard and authoritatively proposed a process. It was
important to project authority. I explained an input survey format to gather,
rank, and evaluate the evidence that applied to each count. Everyone accepted my
proposal. The process involved going around the room and allowing every
individual to contribute without interruption. After listening to my fellow
jurors, I would restate what they said in a more concise way and ask if they
approved. I then wrote it on the whiteboard. I would add my input last. This is
where my rigorous note-taking really paid off. Once we had the first round of
input, we kept on going until the question or issue at hand had exhausted all
input. We then reviewed the input, each point in turn. The goal, at this stage,
was to involve everyone and create alignment in focusing on the issues or the
case, without debate. The process provided both inclusion and structure and my
fellow jurors embraced it. A good first step for the job with which we were
tasked.
After
our initial input and examination, I thought we had convincing evidence of
guilt on the first count. I proposed we go around the room and each vote in turn.
I was astonished that five of our group found themselves unable to reach a
guilty verdict. We had run out of time and adjourned for the day. I was
despondent. As I drove home my mind churned on the problem. How could we
reapproach this and come to a decision? I wasn’t sure that we could.
We
began the next day by stepping back to discuss the determinants of guilt or
innocence and reexamine our whiteboard entries one by one, discussing in detail
what each statement meant and its relative importance as evidence. We drilled
down and, in that process, gained further insight and alignment. Again, using
the input survey format. The second vote narrowed to two holdouts on a guilty
verdict. We then queried each juror about their rationale. That process led to resolving
their sticking points. We reached a unanimous guilty verdict in the third
round. I knew we were all pleased with the knowledge that we could work
together to do this. Know that there was no predetermined motive to reach a
guilty verdict. That is simply what the testimony supported and where it took
us.
After
the first count, we used the same approach to examine the second and third
counts and made a unanimous decision for each. Guilty. I was elated with our
progress. In my mind, the perpetrator was guilty on all four counts but the
decision had to come from all of us. The fourth count stymied us. One juror
just could not get to a guilty decision on the fourth count. After three
rounds, it was clear that no reasoned debate would sway her. It was time to
stop. We all agreed that we would present the court with a guilty verdict on
three counts but we were unable to reach a unanimous verdict on the fourth. The
court accepted our verdicts. The next day I stood in the jury box and addressed
the court. I read our decisions out loud. The prosecution was pleased. Our job
was done. We stood, turned, and left the courtroom.
During
the trial, the most anticipated witness was the victim, the daughter of the
defendant. As she took the stand, she seemed measured, yet confident. And once
on the stand and answering questions, she was poised, composed, and articulate.
In those moments I found myself proud of her and wondered at her strength and
resolve. How had she achieved that?
Once
the trial concluded, we filed back to the jury chambers to surrender our notebooks,
gather our belongings, and depart to resume our normal lives. As we did, the
judge unexpectedly entered the room, thanked us for our service, told us that
we had done well, and shared that she was very pleased that it was now over.
She
surprised us when she revealed that we were the second jury to hear the case. It
had been tried before. But all the prior testimony and work of the court,
prosecution, defense, jurors, and witnesses had been for naught. The case had
to be retried because one juror refused to participate in the deliberations. He
stubbornly opted out of the process when he was told that court transcripts of
the testimony would not be provided to the jury. The judge’s satisfaction with
the successful completion of the trial meant even more to me with the knowledge
of the prior failure. We were appalled by the behavior of that juror and even
more proud that we had collaborated to reach our decisions and play our role in
serving justice for this young woman, who could now move forward with her life.
While the young woman’s father, the perpetrator received a prison sentence and it seemed that justice was served, the trial and deliberations were a messy and emotionally exhausting endeavor. They could in no way compare with the impact of the crime, yet we felt we had done the best we could. It was a case that I did not want to dwell on further. Like many others, I just wanted to move on and get back home for the holidays. Now, for me, E. Jean Carroll’s case, with a well-earned guilty verdict, has brought back many of those memories. But, even with recent social progress, such assaults remain all too common as the evolution of man seems to occur at an aggravatingly glacial pace. Even so, I like to think that we are moving forward. The optimist in me needs that. And, to believe, that despite the darkness that surrounds us, my optimism will remain as uncrushable as the courage of the victims who came forward.